You're late!
I know, I'm sorry It was a lot of traffic
Liam Liu
Profile
So, you know Kung Fu?
Err...
What kind of art are you?
Err...
I, I don't have a ...
Oh, you know what I love? I love suspenders
You don't know Martial Arts?
No
It says so on your resume that you know Martial Art
Is there Martial Art in this commercial?
I thought it was for toothpaste
Where are you from?
New York City
Queens, actually
But I went to Dolton, so
I retain the same leader's arrogance No, I mean what's your ethnicity?
I'm Chinese
Speak Chinese?
Not fluently
It says here speaks Chinese fluently
I'm sorry, is there Chinese in this commercial?
I thought it was like
OK, thank you very much for coming, Liam
What? That's it?
I didn't even get to read yet
Well, we are looking for Japanese, actually
~~~SHANGHAI KISS~~~ Trasscript and Subtitle by quinn.liqin @ gmail.com
Don't be sad
What
You look sad, don't be.
It's my car
You know I just got told
because of a few parking tickets
which is why I guess I'm here utilizing L.A's fabulous public transportation system
Well, somebody told me, I don't know who?
Whenever you're sad and blue.
And you are feeling all alone and left behind
Just take a look inside you, and you'll find
You gotta hold on, hold on through the night
Hang on, things will be all right
Even when it's dark, and not a bit of sparkling
Sing-song sunshine from above
Spraying rays of sunny love
Hey, that's...
'Rays of sunny love' is great
But I still don't have my car
Well, think of it on the bright side
What side?
You never would have got to meet me so if you use
Do you wanna get a cup of coffee with me?
You see if I go home now, that I'm going home alone
And it's a little scary
How old are you?
Why? Is it illegal to share a caffeinated beverage with a minor?
I really shouldn't
I mean, just wouldn't be logical
What if I'm the one?
The wine?
If I am then you'll feel pretty stupid not having a cup of coffee with me
I guess so
I mean I'm not saying I am the one
There's just always the possibility, you know
And isn't that what life's about, possibilities
I really shouldn't.
You can do anything you want to
It's the beauty of living
Wow
Every time I go out for something, Jo
It's always for some Kung Fu Deli Store, Computer, Chinese...
You are a little Chinese guy
You are gonna go out for roles for little Chinese guys
I was born in New York
How about a role for somebody born in New York
Nobody asked you to quit college
And try your hand on deluquative(?) world
Of motion picture and tele-magnetic
What am I gonna do with the degree
I'm gonna spend 8 hours a day
Trapped in a little cubical
raking one of those desktop Zen Garden
Hey I prefer that over spend all you time with some Malibu Barbie
Her name is Adelaide
She is a really sweet girl
You haven't even given her a chance
She is 16 years old
She is applying to Stanford
Everybody can apply to Stanford
You want some of that? At least I'm going online to meet girls
I tell you now
God invented match.com for a reason
And that reason was me
Look, one even applied to me last night
You wouldn't like her though
Why?
She is Asian
Ah
No, but, I'm happy for you
I hope she love you long time
Thank you
Look, I gotta go
It's late, I gotta try to write something
It still blocked, you know
Most of the writers have to write something first
Before getting blocked
You can't be impotent without first being potent
And what the hell was that?
What?
I know that that's your dad calling
Because you got that stupid little ring
So that you know it's your dad calling
And by the way
He knows you sending him to voice mail
He doesn't know shit
Yes he does
Because you pushed end
You can push the end
It only rings twice and goes to voice mail
You're gonna let him go all the way to...
I don't wanna talk to him
Why? He's the one who support you headiness to...
My dad's a drunk
My dad's insane
You don't know my dad
Forget about your dad
And forget about Malibu Addy
Check out this blonde at the bar
She's gorgeous.
Which one?
The one with the pink...
Sucking on that straw
She knows what she's doing
She is one like 8.9, at least
8.9? Yeah
Let me tell you something, my friend
This girl represents everything
that was wrong with the society
From a fake tits to a fake nose
That fake fucking smiles
You see that?
It's a fake fucking doll bag
How do you know her bag is fake
You know what's the worst part?
She gets away with that
She gets away without having anything close enough to resembling a real personality
The bag looks real to me
Let me guess
Capricorn?
Libra
Close enough, you wanna buy me a drink?
What makes think you deserve a drink?
Er, because I'm a good person
By Hollywood standards
Anyway, by normal standards
I'm a fucking asshole
D'you, you think I'm a good person?
Well, I don't even know you
Well, the truth is I think you are really cute
And I was compelled to meet you
And normally I wouldn't surcome to my compulsion so easily
But I'm trying to embrace a new philosophy of life
That involves surcoming
And I mean if I have to surcome
I'm glad I'm surcoming on you
Hey
Think of this drink as...
as an investment for the possibility
of mutual growth in this potential relationship
Any years from now
When our daughter
Jumps to your laps, and asks you
Oh, how did mommy and daddy meet?
You can look at this drink
as the best investment you've ever made
But I gotta know if you're really committed
to continuing this conversation
before I waste my time
I just go, like nothing happens
I'm Georgia, by the way
What a coincident!
That's my favorite confederate state
This is Liam
I'm not here right now, leave a message
This is Mark Liu
Your father
Where are you anyway
It's 2 am
You should be at home
It's dangerous out there you know
so many FPD
I don't want you get hepatitis another time
I hate talking to meet you
You wanna call him?
Sorry
You're not a very rich guy, are you?
What gave that away, the generic brain cooler?
You don't get a lot of stuff
So maybe, maybe I'm not materialistic
Did Jesus have a lot of stuff?
No, but Jesus was poor
So, what do you do for fun?
This is pretty fun
I mean, what do you do for excitement?
Good night
Are you OK?
Yeah, I just, I just have allergies, you know
Are you crying? Your face's wet
No, I'm OK. Just go to sleep
Wake up, wake up
You have to go
What?
Wake up
You have to go
I'm late
Why?
Because I'm late
Why?
Because I'm late
I feel like I'm talking to Helen Keller(deaf writer) here
I promised me breakfast
There's a bagel in the fridge
Knock yourself out
I made you something
What
I love brownies
I know you're silly with them
That's why I made them for you last night
Thanks, you're so sweet
Oh what can I say I'm a sweetie pie
I'm good
What's that?
I'm applying to an art school in Paris
What about Stanford
Ah, Stanford is boring What?
That's what you wanna to for the rest of your life
is paint fruit and people dancing at tea parties?
I mean you're a bright girl
You know you need real education
Shouldn't you do what you're passionate about?
Yes, yes, that all sounds great now
You're doing what you're love
You're doing what you're passionate about
But in 15 years, it won't be so great
When you're selling kind of candy
On Santa Monica prominent
So it's about money
I just don't want you to regret this
I don't know where to go
I have something important to ask you
You're in high school, what's important?
You know canonization is not the way to a girl's heart
I'm sorry
What do you wanna ask me?
I'm sorry, I'm SO SORRY
Oh my goodness
I know, I'm sorry I can't do it like you can. What?
I was going to ask you
If you want to come to the junior prom with me?
The junior prom. Wow
I'm sorry Addy I can't go to the junior prom with you
Why not?
Why didn't you go with, with, Alex, Bowta, or Whorethorn
Or whatever they named them nowadays
'Cause I don't love them, Liam
All righty
Out of my car, Kiddo
Who're you calling kiddo? Boss
You know what
You better be careful 'Cause one day you'll gonna lose me.
And it's gonna break your heart into a million little pieces
I could be the best thing that'll ever happen to you and you'll regret it.
Maybe not today, maybe not tommorrow But soon, and for the rest of your life.
Now if you excuse me
I have an algebra test to attend to
All right, I'll see you in another life
When we're both illustrious oppression libertines
Or 3 pm, whichever comes first
Liam, It's Mark Liu, your father
(Chinese) where are you?
Where are you anyway?
Call me!
Monday, 1:09am
Liam, why are you not calling me?
Your grandmother is dead
This is Mark Liu, your father
Monday, 1:25am
Hello
Yeah I got your message
Maybe a few more relative die
You will actually come back to New York
Can you give me a break?
I'm only trying to make a living for myself right here
Oh, making a living for yourself
Without me sending you check every month
You'll be out in the street with all the others to be or no to be
You know, I'm sorry I called
She left you her house in Shanghai
Wait, what, what did you say?
Leave me her house?
Why, why did she leave it to me?
I've never even met her
Cause your last name is Liu
That's why
Why did you forget who you are, huh?
How much does it worth?
500 qian(thousand)
That should last you util the end the month
You know I'm sick of you criticizing my life
I have the right to criticize it
I'm paying for it
What about you?
I can smell the Whiskey on your breath right through the handset
I'll tell you what
I'll come home today
If you tell me you are not holding a bottle of Jack in your hand right now
Yeah, that's what I thought
You know what I don't need you God damn money
What can you do?
Paddle Cappuccino at Starbucks?
Well you said I had 500 grand, right?
That'll last me to the end of the month
I'm your father, Liam
Why do you hate me?
Because you killed my mother!
Lily comes when you start to call her.
Lily runs when you look away
Bunny!
Lily leaves kisses on your collar
Lily Lily Lily Lily stay
What's wrong?
What's wrong! Come on
I have to go to Shanghai, a week
Why are you going to Shanghai? Silly rabbit
My grandmother died
I'm sorry
I never met her or anything
But she left her house to me
My boyfriend has a house in Shanghai?!
That's really cool
Can't you please not call me your boyfriend
I have a cousin there, who find the buyer for me
I have to go and sell the place
Dance with me, bunny?
I don't want to Come on
Lily runs when you look away
Lily leaves kisses on your collar
Lily Lily Lily Lily stay
Lily comes when you start to call her.
Lily runs when you look away
Lily leaves kisses on your collar
Lily Lily Lily Lily stay
Lily comes when you start to call her.
Lily runs when you look away
Lily leaves kisses on your collar
Lily Lily Lily Lily stay
Stay
So can I go with you to Shanghai?
You have school
But see I don't have to go to school Cause I'm a natural genius
Some people are just born to be natural geniuses And we can't help it
This natural genius is gonna to stay right here in L.A.
Please
I'm sorry
Call me every day.
Every minute, every hour.
Will you miss me so much, like, intestines would bleed?
My intestines will spill buckets and buckets of blood.
Oh, that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'll see you when I get back, OK?
OK?
Yeah Bye Liam
Do I look OK?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You look fine Listen Jo
I need you to do something for me while I'm in Shanghai
What? Renewing you're subscription to a barely legal
It's Addy
Oh, enough with Addy
Come on
I'm just, I'm gonna lay out a general rule here
In America, if you hook up with a 16-year-old girl
You're going to prison for roughly 20 years
And I'm not talking about cobber-sins
It's not that, it's not about hooking up
You're the cool older guy right now
But in ten years, you're just gonna be the old guy
Just take her to school in the morning, that's it
And make sure
She has parents
She is not little Orphan Annie
What do you want me to do? Give her some claim shot and send her to bed?
Shit! She was doing just fine before you got there
Yeah, you're right
I just
No no no no
I'm right I like to hear that
Alright, never mind, forget it
Shit!
What?
She was supposed to be here like an hour ago
She stood me up
Did she get lost?
No She thinks I'm ugly, or publican, or both
Yeah, what's with the brown suit?
You look like Ronald Reagan
I asked you about this
I tell you what happened
This is what Darwin was talking about
When he said natural selection
Only I'm the one that wasn't selected
Jo, women are absolutely everywhere
See that girl at the counter
What do you give her?
Solid 6
When you flip her around you'll get a 9
Talk to her
Come on, dude
No, I can't That's ridiculous
Why is that ridiculous?
Are you kidding?
Don't you think it's a little psycho to just walking up to some girl?
Yeah, it's psycho if you shank her in the shower afterwards
All right
Don't bring her knife
I'm not bringing her knife
Do I look like Ronald Reagan?
You're on a good day
Gets the attention
Hi
Oh
Is this the butter?
I hope your plane crashes
Maybe he is her brother?
They kissed, what is she? Angelina Jolly?
Can I order a big bowl of shame, please.
Hey, that's me!
You're Liam? Yes
How nice to meet you Nice to meet you
Where did you get this?
Your father send me
Do you like it?
Eh, I don't know
Oh, I'm Ling Ming, your cousin
Lin Ming, you name rhyme, that's beautiful
Thank you Come on, let's go
Why did they give you the house?
Actually, I'm not part of Liu family
The family name are just pass out through the sons
My mother married into Ming family
Where am I staying?
Jing Mao Tower
Tower?
I'm staying in a tower?
Yes
Minutes reaching night
Fifty miles high
Nothing but the sky
China in your eyes
Minutes reaching night
Fifty miles high
Nothing but the sky
China in your eyes
Thank you
So, do we tip them or something?
Not necessary
Please
Hey, How do you say thank you?
Xia ya nong
No no no gratitude is necessary
Oh, it's OK, I'm not being gratitude Just giving you the tip
Thank you
Oh no
We do need to do anything here
Really? Yeah
This is like Jewish heaven
Yeah
(OK, thank you for bringing the luggage here)
Wow Look at that
If I have a house here
Why am I in a hotel?
House empty, all furniture's gone
But don't be worry
We'll meet the buy tomorrow
You'll get the money and
go back to America
It's no problem OK
So what about tonight?
What's the plan, Stan?
You're Stan in this scenario, BTW
Okie dokie
What do you want to do?
What the hell is this?
Wasabi Pea
You can say that again
Wasabi Pea
(What can I help for you two, anything)
(He is an actor, from Hollywood, he is my cousin)
You, America? Yeah!
You want to go for company?
Go for what?
For company!
Yeah yeah yeah
Nice, nice, nice
You must be have much money
Girls (come in now)
(come in, come in)
American
Smile, please
(If you want money to go abroad, then smile)
Pick Pick?
Do you like?
Help me out here
I don't know which should I pick
It's up to you, whatever your taste
I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings
You won't hurt feelings, just pick
I was never picked for dodge ball
It always hurt my feelings
OK, it's not big a deal
Just pick
Ah, look you like
Have your eye on Emmy
Emmy? Is that her name?
Yeah, Emmy is very sweet
If you can touch her smell
Err, touch her smell
OK, OK?
OK!
Emmy
(It's up to you now)
Hi
Bye bye
She's crazy
Do you like her?
My name is Emmy
Emmy, my name is Liam Liam?
Funny kind of name
Yeah, well, I'm a funny kind of guy
So you come here often?
First come here
Oh, first come here?
Em, I like your ear rings
No, not him, me
I like the, you know
Thank you
You're very round
That's my favorite shape
OK, don't talk to him
He is not even there
Don't you have to go somewhere?
All right
You should sing
I do not sing
If I sing, everybody in room will run
No, no, I'm sure you're not that bad
Trust me, that's bad
OK, I believe you
Hey you wanna go?
Ah?
You wanna go?
OK
No no
us, you, me, we go, both of us
You want me to go with you?
You want me to want you
to go with me?
I'm confusing you
Let's go You wanna go?
I'm...
Yes, you, me, you, me Both!
One, two, go
Nice room Thanks
Great view
What do you want to do now?
What ever
You tell me
Excuse me OK
Hello
Is this my very sexy Chinese man?
How do you get this number?
I have my ways
Remember I'm a natural genius
I just got in a couple of hours ago
Why haven't you called me, I wonder, I wonder
My cousin was showing me around a little bit
Oh, what have you seen?
Em, I saw a guy on uni-cycle, saw a KFC
It's about it
I'm going to take shower, OK? OK, OK
Is someone there?
I ordered room service
This girl was just bring up late dinner
I can't really take the airplane food
Yeah, you and your sensitive digest track
How is Shanghai?
It's beautiful
My hotel room is on the 85 floor
I can see Japan from my window
How is it look?
Let's say if they're planning a sneak attack anytime soon I'll know
Can I use the towel? Yeah, yeah
Who is that?
Err, television
Listen, I'm so tired
can I call you tomorrow?
I miss you, bunny
OK, I'll be back soon
Get out of the house, all right?
Go hanging out with Summer or Melisa or any other girls on the O.C
Bye Liam
Bye Addy
OK. I finish. What do you want? Tell me
You know what? I'm really tired
Do you wanna go to sleep?
Sleep?
I was on a flight, you know, for, I don't know, 16 hours
You know, an airplane
Do you mind?
No, I'm not mind
Because I like you
You're really beautiful girl
Thank you
So is it OK?
OK
Alright Good night
Hey Liam
Let's go
Wake up
3 pm
(Nu nu)
(Come back, come back)
So, this is it, huh?
Yes
Your grandmother lived up here for 60 years
Your father born here
Grow up all his life
Be careful
Lots of history in this house
It's a share with ceiling
But nobody here had take care of it
Wow
This view is amazing
Yes, this is Huangpu River
The most important shipping outlet of Shanghai
Divide the city into east and west
Come on Liam
Let me show you
This was your father's room
The whole family is live here
This place is great, I love it
Yeah
It must be buyers
(Just a minute)
(You must be Mr. Wu)
(Nice meeting you)
(No so hard to find)
This is Mr. Wu
(Mr. Wu, this is my cousin from America)
(You have an interesting cousin)
(Does he have a girl friend yet?)
(He could become my son-in-law)
I've never been to Shanghai before
So I'm surprised by how modern it is
You know, the architecture
Very modern
OK
I like your tie
Oh, look at that
(We liked this house, the sun light, and the price)
So Liam
Mr. We said this place is so great
It's unbelievably cheap
Yeah, if you call 500,000 dollars cheap?
No no no no
It's not 500,000 dollars, it's 500,000 Yuan.
How much is that in dollars?
Maybe a little less than 60,000 dollars
60,000 dollars?
No no no no
I'm not selling this place for 60,000
It's crazy
Are you crazy?
This view is worth more than 60,000 dollars Yeah, yeah, I know
My shoes are worth 60,000 dollars
Tell them no, tell them I'm not selling It's ridiculous
OK
(Mr. and Mrs. Wu, I'm sorry)
(This house is not for sale)
(We did not say anything about the price)
(You make the price)
What happened?
I told them
I can see that
So, what are you going to do now?
(Hello, where do want to go?)
Jing Mao, please
Jin Gao?
Jing Mao
Jin Gao?
Jing Mao
OK
Out
No, this is not it
Jin Gao
Jing Mao
Jin Gao
Mao, Jing Mao, it's a hotel
Hotel? OK
No, not the place
Hotel This is nothing, Jing Mao
Ting Gao?
Jing Mao
Bing Gao?
Look at my mouth, Jing Mao
(This guy is so annoying)
(I haven't found where he live)
Yeah what?
Oh
Oh yeah, look at that
Get out
What? Why you stop?
Why you stop? I'm not getting out
Jin Jiang?
Jing Mao
Get out of here
Jing Mao
Jin Jiang?
Jing Mao, it's famous
It's the tallest building here
Jin Jiang
You've been driving me round the city all day
What're you? A fucking idiot?
I fuck ass!
You fuckie ass!
You fucking!
You fuckie!
You fucking!
You fuckie!
Where are you going? Get back
You fucking
You fuckie! You're fuckie
Jin Jiang?
Not Jin Jiang
Jing Mao. Mao Mao
Jin Jiang, Jiang, Jiang
You're gonna kill me! You're gonna kill me! You're gonna kill me!...
No no no no, Jin Jiang
I need a drink I need a drink
You're gonna drive me to drink
I need a drink
Can you take me to a bar?
Drink? OK! (Get it)
You guys know how to make a chocolate martini?
What's that? Chocolate martini?
You know martini?
Yes of course You want a martini?
No, chocolate martini, it's a martini But you add some chocolate in it for flavoring
OK?
OK, I do
a regular martini With chocolate in it
Chocolate martini
(As usual?) (Yeah, thanks)
Hi
I'm Liam
Mickey
You speak English?
You speak German?
Why would I speak German? We're not in Germany
Why would I speak English? We're not in England
Because everybody speaks English
If that's true, then why even ask me in the first place?
Let me guess
You're an American
And you think the world revolves surround you
You probably don't speak any other languages beside English
That doesn't true I speak Ethiopian
!@#$%^&*() That means, em, armchair
Well, why don't you speak Chinese?
Because I'm an American
You're not an American
Your face is Chinese
Your hair is Chinese
Your eyes are Chinese
Your skin is Chinese
But you probably don't know anything about your culture
It's a pity you don't even speak the language
I know more than you think
Here is your drink
Yes, I can see you're very wise
Thanks
Thank you
So what are you that you're so culture the polaties(?) instructor?
What's that?
Never mind
Hey, you wanna get outa here?
This conversation's depressing me
Eat your drink first
So beautiful
I never realized how beautiful Shanghai is
Most of these building were developed in the Opium Wars
Refresh my memory Robert Donnie Junior won the Opium Wars, right?
Who that?
Never mind
You're so cute, and so funny
Yeah, but you don't laugh at like most of my jokes
You're still funny
Are all American so funny?
You should know You've been there 3 years, right?
Use sense of humor as defensive mechanism of nervous
That's what my analyst says
You're in analysis?
Yeah Ever since the second grade
When I asked out Aaron McGrath
She called me the dudie head and pulled down my pant during recess
That's horrible
I can't really blame her
Because I was quite empirically a dudie head
But then I got very self-conscious about my penis size
Err, I mean, were small, but I was 7
I think for a 7-year-old
It was decent size, I think
Are you nervous?
Yeah a little bit
Do I intimidate you?
You have no idea
How was that?
I'd say let's go back to my place but I don't know where it is.
Let me get this
Hello?
I wrote you a poem, you wanna hear it?
Yeah, sure
I woke up lonely the day I died.
The sun never sang to me so bright
The songs of heaven that dance inside my eyes
Watching a seagull's flying
And time stands still
As I paint the penguin red and I turned blue
I thought of you and only you.
In the darkness you'll come
And drive my tears and rescue me
From the plastic cups and empty faces
My Shanghai Kid My One and Only
For you I wait Only God can stop me
Now if it totally sucks, you can tell me I really didn't write for 5 seconds anyway
No. I like it
Em, you know, I got to get off the bus
Can I call you later?
Yeah
Bye Addy
What was that?
Your girlfriend?
No, she's just a friend
Just a friend
Give me a break, she's 16
Why are you friends with a 16-year-old?
I don't know
Excuse me
(You make me disgusting) (You make me puke)
(You make me sick) (You make me fucking...)
What's that?
Tea egg
Egg?
Egg
Egg, Let's get some I'm hungry
Hey, tea egg
Hello, hello, hello
Wake up, back to work
Hello, hello, hello Ni Hao
How much?
1 yuan!
1? 1 yuan?
That's like 12 cents
I want twelve
So, how do you say twelve?
Twelve
(Shi Er)
Is this good?
Wait, hold on
Taste time
Why are you buying so many eggs?
I may not be a smart man
But I know a good bargain when I see one
Wow!
What?
In this light, you're stunning
You're a stunner
I'm actually physically stunned
Well you're not the ugliest guy I met either
OK, OK relax
So, why would you sell a house that's been in your family for 100 years?
What am I gonna do? Move to China?
Why not?
You're Chinese, aren't you?
Why don't I do anything that makes any sense?
Why did I drop out Columbia and moved L.A. to being an inspiring alcoholic?
Why is that the the only girl that I can stand being sober with for more than an hour
present company excluded
happens to be 16?
Why can't I look my father in the face?
You're right!
I spent my entire life running away from anything Chinese
including my father.
But I come here
And I feel like I belong here
Here I'm not a Chinese guy
I'm just a guy
Don't move here just for me
Do you wanna see me again?
Of course!
Would you miss if I left?
Would you miss me?
You are the most amazing girl I've ever met!
Hey!
Chou Yun Fat?
Hey! We both fat
No no no, I'm sorry it's not him
It's the guy from Roman Noodle package
And you're the noodle
So, how is the People's Republic
It's amazing
It's so beautiful there, Jo
It really is
And I met a girl
What? I like a Chinese girl?
I met a Chinese girl!
No way! Really?
Yeah Really?
What's her name?
Her name is Mickey
That doesn't sound Chinese
She is beautiful
She's smart, sophisticated, funny
And she's with you?
It's a shame you had to leave
Actually I'm gonna move there
What?
I'm moving to Shanghai
When?
Next week!
I just, I came back to get some things
Say good bye
It's pilot season
There are no Asian guys on television
You know that
So, did you tell your father?
Does Addy know? Anybody?
No, not yet
You figured how to tell them?
No, I will
Your father's gonna be a little surprised
I don't give a shit what he thinks
Listen to yourself, man!
You're moving to Shanghai for a girl
A Chinese girl, for God sakes
This is not just about the girl
Then what is
It just, it feels right
I'm Chinese, I gotta go back to my roots
Slowdown, Kuta Kinsei(?)
You don't even speak Chinese
What the hell are you gonna do
What, drive a Rig Shark(?)?
I can learn Chinese
Learn Chinese? Liam, you barely speak English
Don't call me Liam, Liam is my slave name
Cute
Wait Come here, come here
What?
That's her
Wow
She sure likes any other Asian girl in Monterey Park
You wanna move somewhere
Move to Monterey Park, it's lovely
I'm miss you too
Come on, get in
Give me 5 bucks for parking
So you came back early
You know the sell fails, sweetie
Oh, you didn't sell your house?
No
What're you going to do now, baby?
Well, please don't call me baby
Baby baby baby baby BA~BY~
I have something to tell you
Good news?
In a way.
Let me guess
You're pregnant
No, that's the last one
It got it aborted
Oh, that's too bad I always wanna be a father
So what's this news?
This is hard to say
Oh, spill it, bust it, come on!
Well, I think that we should stop
Oh Sugar salad
Give me those please
Yeah, sure
You're the bestest boyfriend...
Yeah, OK Addy you're a great girl, you're beautiful, smart, strong
And you shouldn't be hanging arround with me
You should be with the guy at your own age
I'm gonna be 17 like 2 weeks
What are you? like 8 years older than me?
12!
Big deal
I look like a dwarf I'm even, almost taller than you
Look, It's not my fault that my a'pophysial plate feels immaturely
Apo'physial! Apo'physial!
Did you drink milk? Yes, I drank milk
Whole 100 percent?
Did you drink fat flavor?
What percent milk I drink is not the point
The point is I can drive and drink alcoholic beverages
Not at the same time
What's your point?
Woody Allen was with a woman 35 years younger than him
Woody has 3 Academy awards
When I get 3 Academy awards I can date 12-year-olds if I want
I met some one
Really?
Yeah
Is it a girl?
No, it's an squirrel, actually
Of course it's a girl
I don't know, you're barely natural
It's a Chinese girl, I met her in China
What can I get for you?
We're gonna take a sugar salad
You're gone, for like 3 days
3 days!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I don't know what you want me to say
I feel so shady now
You don't have to feel shady
Let's go have the sugar salads
Fuck the sugar salad
Fuck her in the sugary ass
You're dumping me for some Chinese girl?
We were never really together
Oh, right. I forgot, I'm only 16
How are you gonna maintain the relationship with some 7-thousands-miles-away?
I'm moving to Shanghai
What?
I'm moving there
To Shanghai?
Who moves to Shanghai? No one does that
No moves to Shanghai I don't know, lots of people
I don't know. It just feels right
You'll just leave me here to rot?
Leave you here to rot?
You live in Beverly Hills for Christ
I wish I live where you lived
Please just go see this movie, please
I'm gonna get you a sugar salad
Don't you have any feelings at all?
You have your grandmother died Don't you feel sad about that?
Don't you feel sad about anything? You're like a fucking robot
Now you're going to China for some girl you've only known for 2 days
Do you really think that you'll gonna find what you looking for out there?
You need to calm down I'm going nuts
Wait, just wait
I like you, Addy, I really do It scares me how much I like you
Why you are leaving
Because I feel empty here
It's like I'm pissing my life away.
L.A. is a cold and desertly place It really is
It's like sucking my life right out of me
Maybe it's you Liam Did you ever think of that?
Maybe it's you sucking the life outa yourself
You're just a just a kid. Addy
Go home
Don't go to Shanghai, please
It'll be a mistake, you know it'll be a mistake.
Fell in love, with a girl
Lost my hold on this whole world
Sad to say, it's about truth
There's nothing more that we could do
But Love just don't quit
So hard to see from where we sit
Love just don't quit
It's not a box there ain't no live
Holidays, time of year
Call them close and hold them near
Some souls comes, some don't show
Round and round and round and goes
But Love just don't quit
So hard to see from where we sit
Love just don't quit
It's not a box there ain't no live
Some years past, in a day
Somethings's changing something's faint
Some day seems like nothing's new
You have me and I have you
'Cause Love just don't quit
Hard to see from where we we sit
Love just don't quit
It's not a box there ain't no live
Give it out and let it end
(Check!)
Excuse me, Mister
Do you speak English?
I need an umbrella
Raining, raining
(Excuse me)
(Where to)
(Buy)
(Umbrella)
The umbrellas right there
Thank you thank you
(raining? raining?)
It's good, you should try it
It's so shiny
I'm gonna get blinded by it
No it's a desert You'll like it
Let's go to Mc'Donnald This food is scaring me
That stuff would kill you faster than poison
Somewhere out there is a bunch of angry feet of chicken
Didn't your mother ever told you not play with your food
I don't know I have no mother
Everybody has a mother
You OK?
Yeah, I'm fine, It's just
I don't really remember her
I mean I have memories, but
I don't know which ones are real and which ones I created because I needed them
We don't have to talk about this
No, no, it's good to talk about it
Well it was my birthday
I was 6
And we were coming home from dinner
We didn't have much money then
So going out to eat was special
So I wanted to order something special
And after looking over the menu for 30 minutes
I saw that they have turtle soap
And I thought, wow Wouldn't it be cool to go to school on monday
And tell everyone that I had turtle
But on the way to the bathroom
I saw the life turtle in the Kitchen
And I started crying
I could never eat such a good animal
And so I burst into the kitchen
like a knight rescuing princess
I grab the turtle and I burst out
And after my parents come down the kitchen
My mom said that I could keep the turtle
As a birthday present
So it was sitting on my lap in the car my father was driving
He may have been drunk
I'm not sure, but they started arguing in Chinese
Every time they argue in Chinese I know something's wrong
The rest is a blur The next thing I know
the car is flipped upside down on the side of the road
There's a shart-of-class jetting from my mother's neck
Bloods dripping down her white blouse
I never did find out what happened to the turtle
You wanna go see a movie
You have movies here, right?
Of course
Let me go to the man's room then we can go see a movie
I can't watch this
Why not?
Because the Rock sounds like Richard Simons That's why not
Who is Richard Simons?
Never mind
Who's the Rock?
I'm gonna get something to drink I'll be right back
Hi, you reach Addy She's not here right now to take your call
I know 'Cause I'm her
Get in the car!
Did you say get in the car?
Why would I get in the car?
(Beat him)
Get in the car? OK? OK?
You hit me
Yes, very good, very smart
People always complaining about American education system
What do you want?
Where are you from?
Here and there, I get around
Where are you from?!
I'm from Los Angeles
California!
It's beautiful there isn't it
It's OK
Beautiful women too
I've never been myself
But I watch Hollywood movies
Like, em, Charlie's Angels
You've seen Charlie's Angels?
It's not one of my favorites
I found the plot to be lack...
Plot?!
Who needs plot when you have crazy American women running around
Right?
There's something doesn't make sense to me
You see you have Charlie's Angels
And crazy American girls
Yet you still feel the need to come here and steal our women
I don't know what you're talking about
I'm talking about my girlfriend
Mickey
Lately she's been acting very strange
Always busy
You know what she's doing everyday
I have no idea
Who do you think you are
You American think you can take anything you want?
I don't think that
You don't think that?
Who discovered America? Who discovered America?!
Christopher Columbus?
I forget
That's want you learned in school, right?
But I want to find out
How he can DISCOVERY a country
with already more than 40,000,000 native Americans
Where are they now?
They welcomed you with open arms
And you killed them all
I guess we have different text book, huh?
Look, I'm Chinese
My parent went to America as Immigrants
You'll never be Chinese
You were raised on cheese burgers and pizza
You may think you have discovered China
But we have been here for thousands of years
And I'm not gonna stand around watch you take what's right for me
(Stop the car)
Hi, you have a phone that I can use?
Telephone I can use?
You have a...
Hi, you have phone?
(phone?) (phone?)
Sir Do you have a phone?
Hey! Hey!
Ma'm Ma'm
Can I use your phone?
please, please please
Here, look, look
I give you this
You let me use that?
OK? Can I use that?
I'll give you money?
Look! Look!
(I'm not gonna sell you my phone)
This is all I have Take it
(borrow?)
I'll give it right back I'll be right here
(My long-distance is expensive)
Ma'm, please
Thank you, see, good, happy
Thank you
Mickey!
I wanted to tell you
I really did
But Jai Lee is not the most reasonable man
He gets violent
To beat you?
Who is this guy?
We're to be married
That's terrific
Congratulations
Am I invited to the wedding?
You have to understand (Sir, what can I do for you?)
A bowl of huntuns please
(I'm sorry, I don't understand)
Huntuns?
(A bowl of huntun) Yes, thank you
What don't I understand?
Do you love him?
It's not about love
Then what?
I used to work as a waitress
In about a year ago Jai Lee comes in, throwing his money around
Telling me how beautiful I am And how he wants to take care of me
So this is all about money
See, that's why you would never understand
What don't I understand?
You are what we call a gold digger
How many siblings do you have?
I don't have any
I have 5
3 sisters and 2 brothers
How much does the average American make?
I don't know
Maybe 35,000
I make 1200 a year
My family, all seven of us
Lived in a one bedroom apartment
My father died years ago
Leaving my mother to raise all of us All by herself
So no, this is not about love
I'm with Jai Lee to ensure my family have a better life
You are gonna stay in a loveless and abusive marriage for the rest of your life?
Trust me
There are worse things
(Sir, it's your huntun)
Thank you
You're hungry
Getting the shit beat out of me
Spending the night in a ditch can be pretty consuming
But on the up side it did my cardy over the week
Go back to America
What about you?
I'm be fine
(Welcome back here)
(Sorry for last time)
(I've discussed with my cousin...)
Have you ever seen Sinatra concert?
What about Billy Holiday?
How old do you think I am?
Well, my favorite is Nat King Cole
You listen to Nat King Cole?
My mommy used to play a lot of old records when I was little
She used to sing to me alot
You're still little
What's wrong?
Just miss her, that's all
Just unfair
I mean how can someone die from lung cancer when they never even smoked
I know what you mean
How?
Em, I don't know I don't, I guess
Do you talk to you mom a lot?
Every night
Really?
Yeah, right before I go to sleep
You're a good son
Hey Liam
Liam?
Just sign this And you are all set!
I can't
(The thing is)
(We don't want to sell now)
(Not selling?)
(My cousin come from Amercia)
(He thinks different than us)
(He may have other use for the house)
OK, this was fun
Call me the next time you want to do this
Hey, can you help to transfer the deed to someone else?
I can not accept this
Geese Louise If you learn anything in life
Learn that when some one gives you a house You don't say I cannot accept this
You say fuck yeah!
Yeah try it
Fuck yeah!
Alright, we'll work on that
No one has ever done anything like this for me before
All I know is if you marry Jai Lee
You're gonna regret it
Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow
But soon, and for the rest of your life
Oh, can you do me a favor?
Before you kicked me out of your house
Any thing
Can you read one of these letters to me?
Of course
This is from your father
My Xiaoyin
I have missed you these past few months
And I regret that I cannot be with you during this venerable time
I hope that my mother is taking good care of you
Because she is so exited to become a grandmother
I am working hard in Suzhou
To save enough money
For us to go to America
I hope to make enough money
So that we can go before you give birth
I want our son to be born there
So he can become the president of the United States one day
Please know, you'll always be with me
Liu Yi
Wow
Yeah, I'll say
Thanks
Thank you
Thank you for everything
Dad?
Hey
I loved her
I know
I'm sorry
You forgive me?
You look skinny
I'll take you to lunch No, I'll take you to lunch
I have a job now
I'm paddling Cappuccinos at Starbucks
My son
I cannot believe it
You work for the man
Working for the man
Like kids want to say
Nobody says that dad
Are you sure?
You've been away to long
A kid down the street, say it all the time
Damn, I miss that taste
How about this girl?
Over there, the blonde
Like a 7.6, 7.7?
What do you think?
She's OK
OK?
You don't wanna play anymore?
Jo, did you ever think assigning women to numeric value between 1 to 10
based on artificial quality is kind of superficial
Liam, if you don't think she's cute
Just say you don't think she's cute
You know what I think
I made a big mistake with Addy
You can come up with a list of hundreds of qualities that you think are important
in another person
But in the end The heart wants what it wants
You spend you entire life fighting that
Oh my God
You just you go crazy
Yeah, I'm sorta gone crazy just listening to you
Sorry
So, you could ramble on about it with me
for the rest of the day
Or, or
You could call her
You know what, I'm not gonna call her
I'm gonna go over there
I got it Thanks
How you're gonna get there?
You've sold your car
I'll walk, I'll run, I'll fly over there
Catch you later
Nobody walks in L.A.
(Excuse me, I'm sorry) (You see that guy over there...)
Hi Hi
I made some bad decisions
and I'm trying to get them right
I chopped them where to live in
and stored them out of sight
I've gone reputational
running from a fight
When the situation
is out my hands
Sometimes you've got to go to stay
Let the eastest fades for where it may
Drop the masquerade like a life could make
Give it all away
We had a conversation
it was more than what we've sad
we had a destination
we could see it up ahead
To my imagination run
winds around up my head
Trying not to face that
Slipping away
Sometimes you've got to go to stay
Let the eastest fades for where it may
Drop the masquerade like a life could make
Give it all away
What're you doing here?
I came to see you
And I know I'm probably the last person you want to see right now
I wouldn't blame you if you slam the door in my face
And I deserve it
I get the door slammed
Who is it, sweetie?
Just, Chinese
Great
Go to Paris
What
I want you to go to Paris
I want you to see the world
I want you to do what you're passionate about
When I was in Shanghai
I had a lot of time to think
Nobody spoke English
And the movies there suck
But, I realized how badly I treated you.
I mean you have so much heart
You can sing to the world
And I always made it seem like you needed me.
You don't, you never did
I'm the one who needed you.
And I was scared
Scared of you growing up
Scared of you wake up one morning
and realizing that you didn't need me
Scared of you going off to Paris
seeing the whole world out there without me.
But I'm not scared anymore.
And I love enough to let you go
You dumped me
And then you have this epiphany in Shanghai
And now you're standing here basically giving me permission to live my life?
And by the way, news flash
I'm already going to Paris
You are?
Next week
Great
Perfect
That's what I wanted to hear.
You are gonna learn so much
Your are gonna meet so many interesting people
If you are running into Gerard Depardieu Tell him that I loved him in Green Card
Why do you make it so hard for me to hate you?
God, I'm starving
So, do you need some cash, bunny?
I'm gonna found out?
OK
So where is the food?
I left it at the restaurant
So, this is goodbye?
More like, see you later
I'll just...
That was weird
You read the copy?
Yeah, sure
Just start whenever you're ready
OK
Right into the camera
Do you have genital herpes?
It's just...
Lately...
I've been feeling iching and burning around in my genital area
And how did this happen to me
I ask myself
Is that girl in Puerto Rico?
I knew she wasn't a virgin.
But will I ever be able to love again?
Will anyone love me?
Am I supposed to spend my entire life alone?
Because of one drunken night?
This is what I felt
Before I tried Provium
Provium daily suppressive therapy can help reduce the frequency of outbreaks
Make the most out of your life
Ask your doctor if Provium is right for you.
Wow, that was amazing
You know, I really believed you have genital herpes
Do you?
No, I don't
Well I don't think we need to see anyone else
Sorry
I'll miss you!
Go to Paris?! Stupid!
God damn it
So stupid
Hey
Either you came to see me or you've ordered a mail-order bridge
I saw you're with that guy.
He is one of my instructors And he scales like a pineapple
You still remember me?
Bunny, you are my every other memory
How do you know I was coming in?
I called your dad.
God, you're like obsessed with me or something.
I'm more than obsessed I'm daffy about you
Daffy like a duck?
Daffy like a duck!
Quack! Quack!
Oh these are...these are for you.
Thanks
So you think we have a chance?
Anything is possible
It's the beauty of living.
Moonlight is raining down
And I chose a blazing road
Shining like a pawning tree
The city close a massive rose
Swinging on a high trapeze
Far above the crowds I see
All I need is Love
Spinning around the circus grounds
Take me and bring me home again
I see everything in front of me
It's love and only love can bring us home
Fires burn from sea to sea
Warming me and I am free
Open doors in front of me
Only time knows where they lead
Everything I'll ever need
Standing there in front of me
All I see is love
Spinning around the circus grounds
Take me and bring me home again
I see everything in front of me
It's love and only love can bring us home
Only love, only love
Love, spinning around the circus grounds
Take me and bring me home again
I see everything in front of me
It's love and only love can bring us home
~THE END~